As you know, I haven't been a good blogger. My update schedule was messed up and never consistent, and recently I wasn't blogging at all. The reason is already talked about here and on my Twitter 800 times, so I'm not going to bore you with my excuses. But today I reached my conclusion after thinking and thinking about this.
First of all, I closed Beaut in Japan temporary. I am thinking of opening it up in September again, but I am not 100% sure as I have been feeling terrible not being able to add new items to the collection. I will have to think a little further about whether I'll keep running the site or completely shut it down.
Secondly, I am letting you know that I might not blog for a while. I know it's not new (and you might be used to it by now) but this time, I'm thinking of leaving it for a while.
There was an incident that hit me hard, and that's been on my mind since the day it happened. It made me rethink about the whole blogging thing, my own ability and skills. I am not blaming this incident, or trying to b a victim here at all, but I've been struggling to regain my strength and confidence.
Beauty has been all I love since I was 17. Blogging about beauty had been my biggest hobby, and it gave me joy and happiness whenever I was taking photos for my blogs, coming up with new ides and trying new things. But now I see myself from the third person's point of view, I am lacking originality and am nothing special. When I realised that, though I had been trying my best to be creative as much as I could, everything I do began to seem foolish.
I am very sad losing motivation for blogging considering how passionate I was. I would wake up early in the morning on my day off, go to the florist and get some flowers, set up my little 'photo booth' and try new things, play the music and take photos for hours and hours. Then edit the photos taking another day or two, then start writing about the products with joy. Now I don't have any ideas for photos, I take crappy ones when I force myself to do so, and because the photos are crap, I don't even want to write about them. Negative spiral, indeed.
So, cut the (already) long story short, I will keep my Japanese blog mainly because I have more than 1000 photos taken and be ready to be put on my blog, and I've been running the blog for more than 5 years, but I decided to leave this English blog for a while. Until I regain my confidence, or when I can enjoy blogging again.
Thank you so much if you are a regular reader of my blog, and I am sorry for letting you down. I hope you have a lovely day, and see you when I see you...!